Today, I learned something that I’ve known before that God reminded me needs to be brought to my heart. Matthew 6:9-13 says, “Pray then like this: ‘Our Father in Heaven, hallowed be your name. Your will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.'” Prayer is all about purpose. Don’t make prayer about self; make it about God’s will. There is nothing greater.
It comes down to a simple choice: get busy dying or get busy living. The beauty of Christianity is that we’re all given a choice, a choice that could essentially make or break us. God gives us a choice of whether or not we want to follow Him. By making the choice to follow Him, we change how we are seen through everything. The way you live your life says a lot about you. If you don’t exude Christ, people will notice. Making the choice to follow Jesus is one that should be done with your whole heart. You can’t be lukewarm. If you want God to change your life and want to change the lives of others through your faith, lukewarm isn’t an option. You can’t choose what you want to give up to him. You can’t choose one day to live for him and another to not. Your pursuit after God has to be steadfast. I’ve had many years to learn this, and still am. I’m no where near perfection, and never will be. But as long as I continue to live lukewarm, I’m not living. I’m not only not living, I’m not living out God’s purpose he has for me. Therefore I have to make a choice, a daily choice or really, a constant choice to get busy living.
Certain things are grained in your mind forever. They’re things that a little voice constantly reminds you of when you’re up or when you’re down. Those things are what some people said to me because they didn’t realize the hurt and the truth I saw behind their words. I’ve had people say to me, “You know you’d be beautiful if you just lost some weight.” I’ve even had people call me “little head, big body.” Words aren’t a mere thing people can forget. The phrase, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words may never hurt me” has never been true. Words cut the deepest. Words cut even deeper when they come from someone close to you. I’ve had people that are very close to me make snide remarks about my size without even noticing it. Those comments cut deeper than any of the other stuff that’s been said to me. Why? Because those comments come from people who are supposed to lift me up and to love me despite my flaws. However, I’ve come to realize the only one who can love me despite my flaws is God, my unconditional Savior. He constantly reminds me that I am beautiful no matter what. That I am beautiful even if my body is disproportionate. Because of him, I know that those snide remarks can’t hurt the beauty that rests inside of me. I am beautiful. Words don’t define me. What the people don’t know is that I continue to struggle to see that beauty in me because of them. They don’t know what I’d do to be a size two. They don’t see how their words affect me. But they don’t see what my God sees either. He sees perfection. He sees beauty. And because of him, I know I can overcome anything. I can overcome my weight. I can overcome those snide remarks. I can overcome the voice that tells me I’m not good enough or the voice that tells me I can’t do it. And most of all, I can overcome hurtful words. I am more than that. I am beautiful. I am His.